Day Five: WHAT IS YOUR DUNKIN DAMAGE?!?!

I seemed to say, all the time, everywhere....

But truly....I can't freaking believe this. I went to the Dunkin Donuts near my apartment, like I do now that the F train kiosk has failed me so spectacularly, and ordered my regular. Which is a medium almond iced coffee, milk and sugar, please. Not a complex order. I've even watched them make it.

Go to coffee machine. Put coffee in cup.
Pump in syrup. Pump in milk. Shake a little bit.
Ta-Dah.

Fine and dandy until today THEY ALSO GOT MY ORDER WRONG!!!! What the cross-eyed sideways fuck is happening?!? Am I from the future?! Does my order not exist in this parallel plane of reality? Is this some vast conspiracy spear-headed by Gene Hackman designed to keep me away from the precious treat that keeps my eyes open and feet moving in the morning?!?

Even more strange and hilarious, when I went in yesterday (because I'm a glutton for punishment) they had installed a big new TV in the corner, which is odd, because the space is so small and cramped. On the box, they were showing what I guessed was "Dunkin TV" like the jumble of nonsense that plays before previews at the movies. There was a pic of Ryan Gosling from E! There was a pitch for Oreo Coolatas (gross). And there was a weather forecast. The days of the week were listed, along with high and low temperatures. But instead of a picture of sunshine or rain there were pictures of muffins. Silhouettes, really. And the silhouette of a muffin looks surprisingly like that of a mushroom cloud.

 

So according to Dunkin TV, this coming week will be hot with a chance of nuclear fallout.

It is too early in the morning for this.

BAH. Why can't I just get my coffee?? I'm so ugly and crazy without it.

I am also feeling particularly ugly and crazy because I was so goddamn stupid and managed to erase the three pages I've managed to pound out of a new play. Three solid, hard-fought pages, some in Spanish (I'm trying!) clever and weird and gone because of my own computer error. Blargle. Grouchy. What's even more frustrating is that now I clearly see I should have made it a Google Doc rather than a Word Doc, because then it exists in mysterious space, and not on my computer where I don't want other people (coworkers) to see it.

That being said, I've just had ANOTHER chat with my 95% sure-he's-gay-but-there's-5%-hope crush. He is so nice. And he doesn't know anything about the Kardashians, which makes him SO MUCH CUTER in my book. Would he agree the silhouette of muffins is similar to that of a mushroom cloud? One can only speculate.

Swoon.
TGIF. x