New York is beautiful and hideous. A perfect puzzle and an industrial slag-heap. Tetris on crack. Frogger in a K-hole.
It is incredible and terrifying.
After taking several years off for grad school/family issues, I came back to this concrete playground wasteland. And I've done so much. Had a play on. Moved up and fallen off corporate ladders. Lived with every nut Craigslist has to offer. Got my heart shattered. Started over, time and again.
Like the art-deco building facades I've come to love so much, I am constantly in a state of repair and restoration.
And now, on the cusp of 30, I find myself in a good place.
I have excellent friends.
A good, stable job with a grown-up salary and healthcare.
A beautiful apartment with a wonderful friend.
And yet...I'm not sure at all what the next 3-5 years will bring. Do I want to stay in New York? Maybe. If my job goes well and I keep moving upward. I really like this job, and the people I work with are awesome. But my company has other locations I could theoretically explore, both in the midwest and on the west coast.
The past two times I've recently been out of the city (Vermont and Ohio) it was really tough to come back. Because even though I love the asphalt jungle, I also love driving. And mountains. And big open fields and sunshine and fresh air and bold blue bodies of water. If we can drive through these places so much the better! Once you've driven through farm country, with the windows down and the sight and smells of a thunderstorm bearing down on you, it's hard to revisit a small apartment surrounded on all sides by hot, sticky blacktop. The genius of mass transit seems less than wonderful. For a city of millions, New York can be lonely and the hardest place to find privacy.
But I love urban spaces, urban skylines!
Is there no happy medium?
I feel like I grew up in that elusive happy medium. 15 minutes in one direction, and you're in downtown Washington DC. 15 minutes in another direction, and you're on a small, historic farm. My folks picked a great spot (well, we were stationed here, but all things considered...). I see why so many of my highschool classmates chose to stay close, to come back right after college. I couldn't do that, nor would I have wanted to. I needed to see other places. Even now, I don't think I will ever call that place home again. Too much happened.
But where is home going to be, further on down the road? Could I ever be financially solid enough to have more than one home?!? The thought of having several places to live - different bases, vacation hideaways....oh it seems like such a great dream. A place in the city, and one by the sea. Somewhere where I can drive. Where I can do some hiking, go to baseball games. There needs to be a great coffee shop too. A place where we can be together, but alone when we need it. Where we can see the stars. And be happy.
