Is Apartment Hunting Like Being A Bride?

Let us begin this post with a hilarious bit of information I realized last night.

The three weddings I am attending this year....are back-to-back-to-back over weekends in the fall.

Wow.

I mean. It's great! I love weddings. It will be lots of fun. And really busy. But yes. BUSY. I had better get cracking memorizing all of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" dance moves, because you know I'm going to be putting that to exceptionally good use this autumn.

The apartment hunt continued to dominate the weekend, and after hours of walking about in the cold with a new-to-the-city, uncomfortably-young broker, I was dead on my feet tired. Does going for a lookabout with a broker feel like an exceptionally long and unsexy date to anyone else? You spend hours together, talking about who you are and what you want out of life and living....but you're not attracted to each other (at least not in my case) and nothing fun is going to happen at the end. Sigh. I cannot emphasize enough how much I hate this process.

I found a really cool apartment in the hunt yesterday. Insane view. It's top of my price ceiling, but it's super spacious, the building seems great, in a safe neighborhood close to friends and the train I need to get to work. I was pretty stoked. And then....I kind of deflated. I couldn't help but wonder if there was something better, cheaper, closer out there? And would I find it only after I'd put down a deposit? Now, I'm on a time crunch here. I'm a beggar, not a chooser. But I don't want to just dive into the first available thing either. It's like being a bride, I think. You've been fortunate enough to find your mate. But then with everything else, the dress, the venue, the details.....do you wonder if there's a better option out there? Is it settling to take something that is "really good" rather than "perfect?" Is it OK to get the first dress/apartment you try on? (Granted, this was my 5th apartment, but still.)

(Me to all brides)

Feeling very much at a loss. Maybe I need to grow up, bite the bullet, and drop the deposit. I suspect one of the things making me extra reluctant to do this is the fact that the way this whole situation has gone down is going to end up (once the dust has settled) costing me about $2,000. Money I absolutely do not have. This goes back to the whole feeling terrified/angry/fucked feeling I've been riding since the 23rd. I just don't think any of this is worth it anymore. One more year and out.