Everything I say can be used against me at some point or another.
I have the right to an attorney. She is also my dearest friend. She lives in Florida.(Hi, B!)
Do I understand my rights as I have re-edited them for myself?
Yes.
Finally.
My days, on the whole, go something like this:
7:20am - Wake Up. Morning rituals.
9:00am (latest) - Out of the apartment. Walk to work.
10:00-6:30am - Work! Walk home.
7:30pm - Home.
7:45pm - Grab some dinner. Decompress. Get some writing done. Call Mom.
(Occasionally this is preempted by drinks with friends, spur-of-the-moment adventures of a cultural nature, or trip to the movies)
11:30pm-Midnight - Bed
Not a super outrageous or fulfilling life, but for now, it is what I have. It is BUSY. I am always connected, moving, thinking, doing something on behalf of someone. It is my job to connect with people, with limited breaks, from 10am to 6:30pm. To do this can be a lot of fun (you meet some cool people) and really awful (and a bunch of assholes) but a huge part of my job is to be personal and helpful and kind and open and firing on all cylinders in order to make sure things go off without a hitch. I type, and talk, and write and arrange and organize. It is musical chairs in a multi-million dollar playground. I solve problems and call in the big guns when I can't.
To be so constantly connected means that it is just as important for me to disconnect when I can. On breaks, I go outside and look at buildings, and people walking by. I'm sure I look insane, but after staring into a monitor so long I like to see stuff that's real. Around 9pm every night, I switch my phone to airplane mode. Some weekends I leave my phone off the entire time, and don't check my email. It's wonderful. And I have to do it. The quiet time alone in my own mind is how I recalibrate. Often times I think it's one of the few things that keeps me from going off the rails entirely. My dear friend and I took a really gorgeous, relaxing walk around the ground of Columbia University last night and talked about trying to find things that helped us recharge our batteries. There needed to be activities that we could share with those we loved, and other things that we managed to keep entirely for ourselves. For me? I like to go on hikes. I like to move. I like the chatter of getting a drink and the quiet of the movies. It's important to me to have both, to be balanced in my interests.
The upside? I work really hard and I know it's being noticed and appreciated. That's cool.
The downside? Less time to keep up with those who live outside of this very insular orbit. Even close friends here in the city I sometimes see only every few months! My old roomie and I have been trying to set up a dinner date since before the hurricane! But we get and appreciate that we're busy and we'll get there. It's not always easy being my friend. If it's not the wild goose chase of finding the time that works for both our schedules, it's the fact that I might be a little manic OR quiet and exhausted when I see you. If we've come this far though, you know that I care about you and value our friendship. I just need my time, as I'm sure you need yours. The need for the silence, for the quiet peace of disconnect is my own thing, and not a reflection on the great people I call friends.
