Friday, September 14, 2012

Things I Am Excited For....Fall Edition

1. THIS FUCKING THING.
Bonjour, diabetes. Enchanté.

I think a serious line was just crossed. Isn't some food scientist at Nabisco kind of feeling like Dr. Frankenstein? Wavering between "I am a genius" and "Dear God what have I done?" This is probably the biggest "oh snap" development in food since Taco Bell brought out that shell made of Doritos. It's like we're trying to die.

But I must sample them. I need to know. Because I love candy corn. It is a sugary, universal symbol of fall and I must partake. The end result will certainly be an upset stomach and/or a manic episode, but I'm sure it'll be worth it. For science, you guys. I do it for science. I should eat a whole bunch then film myself. I'm sure the tape will end either like The Blair Witch Project, or just a wide shot of me crumpled into a ball somewhere.

2. PUMPKIN THINGS
I've recently discovered that you can ask Starbucks to ice a Pumpkin Spice Latte. The result is this cool, sweet and spicy burst of caffeinated goodness. It's a robust delight to the senses, for sure. Or like autumnal crack. Either way. Good stuff.
Pumpkins are the best. You can do just about anything with them. (that didn't come out right...) They taste good. They look adorable and rustic. And then you can carve them to look like other things and light them from within. This is WAY cooler than making a pipe out of an apple. Pumpkins all the way.
Pumpkin, transform and roll out!!

That's not a pumpkin, it's a space station!

(Truly, if you Google Image "awesome jack-o-lanterns" you'll be lost for at least 45 minutes. Super cool and creative what people can do.)

3. HALLOWEEN IN A GROWN-UP OFFICE
Halloween at work is one of those weird and wonderful things I love because it's a riot to watch people toe the line between having fun and being hilariously inappropriate. Last Halloween was great, because there was this freak snowstorm in New York, and suddenly all these young women were...slutty Eskimos? All the trashy costumes (cat, bunny, pirate, devil, cop etc.) were suddenly covered by huge coats and I laughed til it hurt. Amazing. Women deciding that Halloween is "naked time" is another post in and of itself. But this will be my first year working Halloween in a respectable, grown-up job. So what am I going to wear?? Maybe nobody dresses up at all. That would be such a downer. Halloween is fun! Masks and candy? When you boil it down to that, it does sound like the setup of every episode of "To Catch A Predator." Yeesh.

4. PIE...WITH FRUIT I'VE PICKED!
A few years back, I went apple picking in New Jersey and then brought the apples home to make a pie with them. We peeled, spiced, sugared and threw them into a delicious pre-fab crust. Holy crap it was so super good. And it was strangely gratifying to be like "I picked them myself" and now we eat them! Really very much want to do that again this year.

5. AND MOST IMPORTANT...THIS