Good Hair?

Did you guys ever see that Chris Rock documentary Good Hair? It's super interesting. (I like documentaries. Didn't when I was younger. Obviously, learning is MUCH COOLER now.) To make a long story short it's a look inside the multi-billion dollar African-American hair industry, largely centered around the legnths black women go to style their hair. Where do they find the hair for extensions? What the hell kind of crazy chemicals are used for relaxers? It began with Rock's five year old daughter asking "Daddy, how come I don't have good hair?" (the fact that his little girl already didn't like something about herself must have been pretty horrible for a parent to hear.)

Great Hair!

The documentary wondered...why do many women work so hard to achieve a look that is so distinctly not what they were born with? And why do we care SO much what our hair looks like? Because we do care. I care! Though you'd never be able to tell from its appearance, I put a lot of effort into my hair! Truthfully these are questions that, in my opinion, apply to all women regardless of race.

Great (Championship!) Hair!

I don't have answers to these questions, but I was thinking a lot about my own hair this morning, as it looked fucking horrible quite messy and I couldn't seem to calm it down. Right now, my hair is long (the way I prefer it) with overgrown, side-swept bangs and a bit rumpled. I like it. In my youth, I was the queen of the slicked back ponytail, but in adulthood I have literally "let my hair down" and embraced my natural state of charmingly dissheveled. With women and hair, the idea of "grass is always greener" seems to be prevalent. We always want to have (or at least know what it's like to have) the hair that is furthest from our own. I always wanted my thick, wavy brown hair to magically transform into my friend K's hair...fine, blonde and straight! She could wear all the cute, short hairstyles I never could.

I wanted this Great Hair style for years...no dice.

I always like to play with my hair. I'm not precious about it. Hair is dead cells and if you do something to it...well, it's ok. If you cut it, it will grow back. If you dye it, it will grow out. So have some fun. Playing with hair is experimenting with identitiy. Maybe one day I want to look like a 40s pin-up girl. Another day like some kind of East Hamptons preppy. A little punk faux-hawk with the bangs? Why the hell not. Or I'm running late and we're lucky if my hair is brushed, forget styled!

Great Hair!

BUT. I can talk a big game and be glib and silly about my hair, because I'm lucky to have hair at all. A dear friend with alopecia isn't so fortunate. When she lost her hair it was devastating - how do you hold on to positive self image when your hair is falling out? So much of our identity as women is woven into our hair, and we don't even realize. My friend is incredible. She is so brave. She faced the situation with more grace and dignity than I ever would. The whole thing really hammered home how something that seems so inconsequential can actually build up or ravage our self-esteem.

Gorgeous Without Hair!

Hair helps make us feel beautiful, feel sexy. Who doesn't love when a guy runs his hands through your hair? But my friend (and every other women proudly showing her dome-piece!) proves that hair is NOT the only way to look and feel gorgeous or express yourself. Your face, your outlook, your personality is the end game here. Hair is good, but it's not everything.