New Year, Same Me

Today, my co-worker was genuinely shocked and surprised when I told him that

1. I hate New Years with the fire-y passion of 1,000 suns.
2. I don't believe in resolutions.

After several years of social misanthropy and grumpy hiding (which looks like this):

I decided to slowly dip my toe back into society for the most hated New Years Eve. Obviously, it is important to walk before I can run, so instead of diving headlong into a fancypants, dress-up affair with lots of people (even though I do love to dress up every once in a while) I was looking to keep it chilled out and easy. Lucky for me, I was invited over to the home (in walking distance! No subway! No bus! No cabs!) of some dear friends, who had invited over three other people for drinks, food and cards. It. Was. Perfect. I couldn't have scripted a more lovely evening. We chatted. We had cocktails. And we played Cards Against Humanity, which is essentially "Apples to Apples" for those of us with charcoal-dark souls with senses of humor to match. It's free here: http://cardsagainsthumanity.com/
(This is NOT a good game to play with parents, grandparents, children under 18, or the sensitive of disposition. Just warning you now.) The next day, at the gorgeous and delicious New Year's brunch hosted by other friends, I was stuffed with the most incredible food AND we played CAH there as well! And let me tell you....to be SUPER full and laugh until you cry....kind of hurts. But it's worth it, right? To laugh til you cry?

Now. Resolutions.
I think setting up what are essentially rules to change yourself (Be thinner! Be nicer!) on a certain date is kind of insane. I get the whole "clean slate" idea (I wrote another entry about it) but I think the obsession with remaking oneself is more detrimental than anything. Maybe it's just me. We are flawed. I'm all about trying to be healthier and kinder, but not to the point of being unhappy or feeling like I've suppressed my real personality. I think it's about finding the balance between how to be the "best version" of yourself and the real one. Like when you start dating someone new, and you have to find the line between liking things that they do (making an effort to connect) and being who you actually are. Do you give a flying fuck about this hip indie band your fella likes? No. Not at all. But you listen because it connects you and is a small thing you can do to make him happy, which is your favorite thing to do. However, when he asks if you'd like an egg sandwich for dinner, you MUST put your foot down and insist that eggs make you sick, you've tried eating them for years in every conceivable form and you still end up puking. Graphic but necessary.

Did that make any sense, or was my train of thought like the one in The Fugitive, where the train hits the overturned bus o' convicts and sends Harrison Ford out on the lam? You know what I'm talking about, right?

Tommy Lee Jones' performance in Lincoln was pretty much the one from The Fugitive but with fewer donuts and improved wigs.

"We want to block the amendment!"

"I don't care!"